Lamp Lady in the Snow

My American friend Dan, who lives just 3 streets away, is in India on business for 3 weeks. While he is out, I am watching his house. I was also watching his house while he was away in Hamburg for a few days and returned back to Denmark on December 22nd to find that his house had been broken into. Dan is from New Jersey and works for Maersk. You know them by their robin blue containers with a white asterisk logo. Ironic how one of the worlds smallest countries has the worlds largest shipping company.

Bounty had ended her bi-yearly heat session just before Christmas. So why then was her “gurly-gurl” all swollen and ruby red after New Year? I took her out for a pee and poo on our way to check up on Dan’s house and I notice that behind her, the snow was both red and yellow. That would explain the red spots in the house that both Jens and I were noticing. I came home with the dog after our half hour neighborhood tour of window peeping and I said to Jens that I think something is wrong with Bounty and that we had better get her checked out sooner than later. It was the next day that Jens had taken Bounty to the neighborhood vet.

It was Wednesday, early in the morning, that I made a stop at Dan’s house on my way to work. Dan's house is closer to the freeway than my house, which is closer to the coastline. Therefore, from Dan’s house I drive to the freeway and get off in just 2 exits. The dog walk when I notice the blood was Wednesday after work. Thursday it was a repeat of checking Dan’s house, freeway, work, home, dog walk, bloody pee.

It was only the 2^rd time I had ever taken the freeway to work. For the last 19 years I have been riding my bike and I can’t pedal that fast. In addition, since I live closer to the coastline, I normally drive in that direction because the west coast has the sunshine and the girls all get so tanned. I dig a French bikini on a Hawaiian island doll by a palm tree in the sand………… oh wait…….. sorry… I live on the east coast of Amager Island and there aren’t any palm trees - only snow on the sand at the moment.

By the time I got home from work Thursday afternoon, Jens had news for me that he had taken Bounty to the pet vet and they said Bounty has to have a hysterectomy. So Friday, Jens takes me to work in the morning after opening the curtains at Dan’s house because Jens needs the car to take Bounty to the hospital on the other side of town. I’m doing the driving, and we head for the freeway. We are talking and talking about the dog and I missed the freeway exit. How could I miss it? - the exit has blinking lights on the signs that reads: “LAST EXIT IN DENMARK”.

I say the F word, the D word, the S word, the A word, the MF word, the S-O-B word, the Q, the X the Z, the N, and any other word that I can think of that doesn’t mean - Oh joy! I’m shouting these words at 120 kilometer per hour as we approach the tunnel that takes us to an under water tunnel that then spits us out above ground on a man-made island called Pepper Island which is just a swim fin away from god-made Salt Island. From Pepper Island, I am still pronouncing my French vocabulary as we make our way over the Ore sound toll bridge. (or click here to see a pix from Sweden looking towards the airport in DK) Next thing I know, a Swedish toll collector is asking me for money. I offer a few more French words. Then we proceed - up ahead, about 2 more miles, is the turn-around to come back to Denmark.

Now I’m half an hour late for work. Jens is frazzled out because of me being wigged out and the dog is crying cuz she just wants to get out of the car and play ball.

After work, Jens picks me up and we go to pick up the dog. Oh the poor thing just screamed when we tried to help her get her back legs into the car. It made us cry. When we got home, I parked the car at the edge of the sidewalk and I quickly put together some boxes so that she could just easily step out of the back of the car. She didn’t understand the meaning of the boxes, she tried to hop out over them, and they went sliding in all directions because of the slippery, snowy sidewalk. She was totally exhausted and there was no way she could get up the 5 steps into the house. We finally got her to go into her doggy basket and we carefully lifted the doggy basket up the stairs. This only confirmed to me that she really is a cow. My goodness, she weighs a ton and a half! This oinker of a dog who eats everything, didn’t want anything at all. This told us for sure that she is not well. She didn’t eat the second day either and when we called the vet, she told us that it was important to get Bounty to eat. So off to the market I go and buy roast beef and chopped liver. She ain’t no dumb dog. She knows what she’s doing. She works us and we fall into her trap. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.