Cruise - Day 8 - The Grand Finale

Our Cabin.

It’s our last and final day.  I got up really early because we had to be out of our cabin at 8am and at 9am we had to be in the meeting room (which happened to be the bar/disco that we accidentally stumbled into last night).  We were not allowed to order breakfast to our room on our last day so I got up and went up to the buffet and came back with a tray filled with 2 cups of coffee, bread rolls and other stuff.  Last night when we returned to our cabins we found our bathrobes had been taken and the little mini bar/refrigerator had been locked.  I thought this was rather odd.  But I guess too many guest take too many things that ends up costing the cruise company too much money. 

Barcelona Port and Harbor

I was surprised that we had to be out of our cabin so early.  We were also surprised that we had to put our bags out in the hallway before going to bed.  They would come to collect the bags at 2:00 in the morning.  In the printed instructions it told us all the things that we needed to do for checking-out.  It said to be in the meeting room by 9am at the latest.  A guide will come and meet us and take us to the luggage area in Barcelona and each passenger must stand besides his/her baggage and once all of us were with our baggage then and only then will the authorities allow us to step outside of the cruise arrival hall.  We’ve been to Spain a number of times so the Nazi-like drill sounded rather odd.  But the whole cruise has been rather odd so we will just do what we are told. 

Waiting and Waiting -

In the bar/disco there were 2 groups.  Actually there were groups all over the ship.  Your group depended upon your kind of departure, destination, travel arrangements and so on. I forget the number now but we got to know exactly how many people we were and I think both groups totaled about 160 people.  Some were in the blue group and Jens and I were in the yellow group.  At about 9:40 somebody finally came to collect the blue group.  After waiting and waiting – finally the yellow group was collected at about 10:20.  We waited over an hour.  The printed check-out procedure said to pick up your passport (all non-european citizens) after 9:30.  None of it made sense; be in the meeting room by 9 but pick up your passport after 9:30.  Well……..at 10:20, a guide walked in and shouted, “yellow group!” and then he left and of course the yellow group started to follow him.  He was young with a lot of spunk in his step and was gone in a flash.  The rest of us – families with small children, middle aged people like me and limping seniors could not keep up with the guide and long before we could even get out of the bar/disco, the guide was gone.  Which way did he go?  He was leading us off the ship.  Where’s the front door?  What about my passport? 

- and tired of waiting.

All of it was totally unnecessary.  We could easily have stayed in our room until 10 – maybe even 11.  Eat breakfast at a leisurely pace and just glide out the door when we were ready.  It’s almost what we did but with a lot of stress and waiting. 

Here is a video of people getting tired of waiting.

Finally we got off of the ship.  We grabbed our bags from the luggage carousel.  There were no authorities to control anything.  We got in a long taxi line and finally it was our turn.  I impatiently demanded “Paso Robles” when the taxi driver asked where we want to go.  “Where? ” he asked again.   “Paso Robles, Paso Robles”, I repeated twice again.  I’m thinking what kind of retarded taxi driver is this.  Paso Robles is like the number one tourist attraction of Barcelona.  Everybody knows Paso Robles.  Jens looks and me and give me a look like – Take a chill pill, Eddie.  And then coolly and calmly says to the taxi driver, “Las Ramblas, we want to go to Las Ramblas”  (in case you are wondering, Paso Robles is a city half way between Los Angles and San Francisco)  “Yeah, Las Ramblas” I said, trying to back track, “take us to the first café on Las Ramblas!  

killing time on *Paso Robles*

And so he did.  Almost in the shadow of the Christopher Columbus column we sat in a wonderful wonderful café.  We ordered 2 café con letché, 3 sandwi  (they can’t pronounce ‘ch’) and a double whiskey.  After the sandwi I ordered a second double whiskey and then I finally began to chill out.

Christopher Columbus Column

While we were killing time, a group of illegal immigrants walked and stop right in front of the café with big bundles of stuff on their backs.  It was amazing to watch because as soon as they sat the bundle on the ground it opened up into a swap meet type display.  Everything was perfectly laid out.  With a string attached to each corner of the blanket, they could, in a single pull make a bundle in just 2 seconds or less and walk away when they saw police or other authorities.

illegals selling copy designs

This picture is for you Dan.

Danish Container King Mærsk-Mc-Kinney -Møller  - the owner of the worlds largest shipping company, died this week while we were out at sea.  He was active on the board of directors all the way until his life came to an end at 98 years of age.

We took a 4 minute walk up Las Ramblas, snapped a few pictures and then walked back to the first taxi.  “Terminal 1”, we said.  And in a ½ hour we were checking-in to what Jens and I thought was the nicest airport we have ever seen.  It was amazingly huge and modern.  It had several outdoor smoking areas that were as big as a city plaza.  Some people were actually laying out catching a few rays before heading home to some place cold.

Terminal 1 is huge.

- OVERALL REVIEW -

Last night while working out the last details of blogs day 6 and day 7, I had really worked myself up into a frenzy.  I got into bed at 11:50pm and at 12:20 got up to take a sleeping tablet.

What have I done!  What am I doing! When did I become so cynical?  Are people enjoying my blog or is it too heavy?  Are they getting the sarcastic humor?  Is it humorous? What’s with all the sarcasm anyway?  Why am I focusing on the negative!  Oh god, I’ve become the Bucket man!

The Bucket man was the name we gave to our old Dutch neighbor across the street from where we used to live.  The name comes from an English comedy on the BBC.  The main characters were Mr. and Mrs. Bucket.  Everybody called them the Buckets but Mrs. Bucket thought very highly of herself and corrected everybody saying, “It’s Bouquet”.  Everybody did what they could to avoid Mrs Bucket.  We did what we could to avoid the Bucket man across the street.  He complained about everything.

So I’m sitting at the breakfast table crying this morning wishing I could take it all back.  Wish I wasn’t so damn negative.  I asked Jens why I focus on the negative.  I had such big exceptions of this cruise.

Did I set myself up for disappointment?  I never met a person who didn’t like a cruise.  Several people told me that we were in for a great time.  And all the things that were wrong with the cruise just stuck out like a major sore thumb. I was concerned for Jens that we wouldn’t have to do too much walking and this week we walked more than ever and that includes Las Vegas.

As I’ve mentioned in almost every blog, the food was awful and I’m the kind of guy who will eat anything.  When I was a kid my mother and father called me a garbage disposal because I ate anything and everything.  More than half of the guys at work wont even eat in the canteen and I think it’s pretty ok and even yummy some days.  On the last day just before getting off of the ship, I was waiting for the elevator and I just happened to bump into the British bloke that I mentioned about in the first blog.

He asked me, “Going home today?”  “Yes, thank god!”, I answered.  And then HE said, “Pretty bad food, wasn’t it?”  We never talked to each other.  We never bumped in the hallways or seen each other on deck or anywhere all week.  I just remember he had that gray suit with red sock which he was still wearing.  We never smiled at each other, we never nodded at each other.  Yet the one thing that came out of his mouth at the very end of the cruise was about the awful food.  So I know I can’t be wrong about this and they say the food in Britain is just so so.

So I am torn – is it me or is it the ship.  Look at the photos and we seem to be having a good time.  We did actually but the bad times out number the good times.  There was way too little peace and quite.  Way too much stress. Too much standing in line.  Too much risotto.

Ok so we are home now and I have to wash my brain out and stop focusing on the negative.  Even though it was absolutely the worst vacation I ever had, there was soooooooooo much to be thankful for.

I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband that I can share my journeys with.  I’m so glad that Jens did really really well.  Neither one of us had to do the cruise in a wheelchair like the guy we met in the cigar lounge.  I am lucky that we could afford this trip.  Lucky that I have a job to come home to (probably end up deleting this line Monday evening)  Lucky that my credit card is not melting and already looking forward to the next vacation.  Lucky and blessed to live and tell about it.  Other ships like the great Titanic just 100 years ago and another cruise ship just a few months ago sank with lives lost at sea.  Lucky to have such a wonderful apartment with a balcony overlooking the water like the nice balcony that was attached to our ship cabin.  Lucky to have a good friend take care of our doggie. 

We were both so anxious to see Bounty.  Bounty was on vacation herself in Sweden and even has her own passport.  Stefan said that we could pick her up on Saturday – the day after our arrival.  Stefan was so concerned that we arrive home and in peace and just take our time to pick up Bounty.  We could just come home and take it easy, sleep and then the next morning she would be ready.  But already from Barcelona we sent a text message saying we’ll be there in 3 hours to pick her up.

So there is a lot to be thankful for.  Jens is so positive about it all and says that now we just have one more experience under our belt – take it for what it’s worth and go on.  There is still much more of the world I want to see – by train or by plane – and it can only get better.

Cruise - Day - 7 At Sea

Today our our journey heads us back to where we started from. And while most of the ship is crying tears of sadness, we are crying tears of joy and can hardly wait to reach steady ground and solid food.

Although… the liquid food has been pretty tasty I must admit - minus the Sangria.  Our first day on board in Barcelona, when we sat down to eat, we saw a bunch of waiters serving cola and juice to the kiddies.  We ordered 2 beers.  There were waitresses in short skirts waling around with trays of Sangria.  They looked really tasty - the Sangria.  Then I notice the waitresses weren’t really serving the Sangria.  They were just walking commercials.  But it worked.  6 days later those sexy oriental legs sold me and Jens a disappointing  sour and bitter Sangria.  Risotto Sangria, I wondered? 

 

Notice there are a few pictures of this Spanish cocktail. Mix it right and your guest will order gallons of it and throw up everywhere.  This one glass for each of us lasted through several shots and several decks of aimless wandering.  The bitter drink lasted forever.  Oh but don’t get me wrong.  We managed to suffer all the way through to the bottom of the glass.

Here we are in one part of the ship that we found ourselves in often.  It was one of the few places you could smoke. The brochure said smoking was allowed ONLY in the cigar lounge. There were however a few other places where it was legal and this was one of them.  It was nice because it had big windows to look out of and towards the end of the area, it was open air.  This allowed us to sit outside-ish but still be protected from the wind and the rain.  Wish I could write the heat and the sun. 

But 2 problems:  it’s right next to the window where they sell gelato – mommy mommy I want that flavor and that soda and that candy - boo hoo hoo - waw waw waw .  AND - 5 language advertising in the tin-can speakers over head.  When the commercials weren’t running, it was music from the 80’s.  Hello – it wasn’t even good in the 80’s and now you wanna blast it through tin-can speakers again.  Gimme 2 scoops of ear-plugging banana!

 

We walked a little here and a little there.  We’ve seen all of the ship – or at least we thought we had. We took it easy in our room and then took it easy on deck.  Suffered through a warm Margarita - no crushed ice, not even a single cube.  We force fed ourselves another tasteless buffet lunch.

This afternoon there was a special meeting for those checking-out tomorrow.  On this ship you could check on and off at any one of its destinations.  We got on in Barcelona so we get off in Barcelona.  Jens and I had to go to a meeting to learn how to check-out.  O M G ! ! you have to go to a meeting to learn how to check-out?  What kind of shi…………….   Let me tell you I was angry and wanted off now!  No I'm not gonna jump ship - don't be crazy.

Ok - so we show up to the meeting on time but we thought we were late because a film was already rolling.  It was a commercial (or maybe a warning)  of all the destinations around the world where you can catch a MSC cruise.  Now the film was over and the woman told the audience thank-you and good-bye.  It turns out we caught the tail end of the meeting for the French speaking guest.  “The English version will start in 5 minutes” we were told.  Which means they were running 20 minutes late.  So now comes the bla bla bla in English  and then a “Thank-you” film showing workers in all the department of the ship and "Good-bye" in 205 different languages flash across the screen.  There were workers from all over the world – but mostly Asia.  It’s a nice n’sweet emotional film but I just wanted to tell them the 206^th way to say good-bye which is F U with a one-finger wave.  When the MSC-cruise-around-the-world commercial started again in the English version; Jens and I got up and left.  What a sleeper!  What a killer! 

Tonight is the last dinner and the last of the 2 formal dinners.  I couldn’t really understand why some guys would show up for dinner in their very fancy designer suits – they looked so smart – but yet they wore their shirt open.  They just needed to put on a tie and they would look like a 10.   Next to 2 casual guys like me and Jens, the only difference was we had on ties but no jackets.  So we fit right in.  I think it was more the open shirts that stood out than the lack of a jacket.  But then maybe that was the point.

Oh - so what was funny was we got lost again on this giant size monster of a ship and somehow ended up in this room that we hadn’t seen before.  It really was like a little floating city.  A floating city with lousy restaurants – oh sorry.

You know me – I’m always taking pictures of everything I eat.  My good friend George taught me that.  How many pictures of food have you seen on this holiday cruise?  Out of 635 pictures about 4 or 5 are of food - and I took my camera every night with me to dinner.  Ok - I guess I have overstated my point so I will just shut up about the food.

 
 

Everybody was attracted to these amazing diamond stairs.  I want stairs like this to our apartment. I bet the idea came from Liberace.

This is tonights warm up act - It got my blood boiling.

They're so cute I could just give each and every little pirate a squeeze and hug to death.

 This little pirate was more bored with her own performance than I was.

 

Ok – tonights entertainment – Pirates – loosely based on the Disney film.  It was a lot of fun and very entertaining.

Cruise - Day 6 - Tunis

Today we arrive in Tunis.  Upon buying our cruise tickets, Jens was very excited because he has never been to Africa.  Well technically the Canary Islands are part of the Africa continent but the islands belong to the country of Spain.  But you know what I mean: that huge mass of land we all know as Africa – that Africa.  This will be my second time.  I was in Egypt about 80 years ago.  I’ve received 2 post cards (maybe 3) from friends who have been to Tunis so I know it’s a vacation destination.  Our neighbor who took care of our mailbox said we will love the cruise but they didn’t care for Tunis. 

 Everybody doen’t like something.  But nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee.  Especially if they’ve tried the whipped fat frosting cakes that they serve in the buffet.  

We talked about Tunis and how exciting it could be.  Maybe too exciting - so we thought we would just get on one of the excursion buses that depart from and return directly to the ship.  We would just enjoy the city of Tunis from the big bus windows.  But when we found out that we were going to have to deal our passports out and be controlled and checked, we changed our minds.

The Danes have recently been bombing the hell out of the neighboring Islamic country, Libya, as part of the effort to remove Gaddafi from power.  And muslims around the world would love to see the Danes die for the newspaper drawings they published a few years back.  So Jens decided to keep his passport in his own hands and not have to be the one to pay the price for the evil doings of his country.

I had a scary enough experience when my middle east tour which started in Jordan got me special unwanted attention so I’m not willing to confuse any crazy psycho religious nut or  taunt any anti- American authority with my American passport and I stayed on board as well.  What were we thinking when we signed onto this Italian kindergarten tug boat!?

(See! Right there – one of the borrowed words I was telling you about in the last blog.  Kindergarten – it’s a German word.)

Ok - so way outside of port we could see that Tunis, whether friendly or not, was making Napoli look more and more like paradise.  We now changed our minds and just decided to stay on board and take it easy.  We ate a little bit of breakfast and lunch.  If it had been great food like I have been hearing about these cruise ships over the last many many years – it would have been great.  But it certainly was not the food that kept us on board.   

 

Ali Baba and his 40 fanatics greeted our ship with some heavy boom boom boom sounds accompanied by a very sad flat sounding horn, tambourines they export to Napoli and a few camel road apples.

I teased myself with the thought of just going down to the tourist office/shops and see what kind of special prices they had for a friend like me.  My god!  What am I thinking!!  I must be sea sick.  Have I had too much sun.  I snapped out of it and went back to the room for a few Zzzzz’s

 

Later in the late afternoon we were in the cigar lounge have a smoke and strong coffee and there we talked to a guy in a wheel chair.  I notice him yesterday.  He smiled at me and Jens.  He at one end of the lounge and we at the other.  He seemed as though he wanted to talk with us. But we didn’t talk because we were on our way out shortly after he came in.  So we just smiled and nodded as we got up to leave. I was wondering if he was gay.  I was wondering why I was wondering if he was gay.  Man that is one strong coffee.  

 

So today in the cigar lounge, the wheel chair dude was there and he started talking to us.  He had us pegged from the moment he saw us yesterday.  After a bit of talking it was clear.  We were all friends of Dorothy.  He was from the south of France and asked us if we were enjoying our cruise.  NO! came a speedy answer from our mouths.  This was his second time on this cruise.  He didn’t want to go.  He was here with his parents, his sister and his partner of many years.  He’s been on a number of cruises and he begged his family to choose another ship but they insisted on this one.  He had his favorite ships and told us what the difference were among them.  He recommended Atlantis to us and told us which other ships are gay friendly.  We didn’t want a gay cruise. We just wanted a nice ordinary peaceful, quite, calm cruise with interesting destinations.  We didn’t even stop to think of wanting good food – that’s a given – or so we thought.  Atlantis is sailing this summer and we have vacation now and we just wanted to do a normal cruise we told him.  He told us of the other ships that were not gay but have a lot of gay passengers so they do special events for those that are interested.  We talked about the food. He said, “Oh, well if it’s good food you want, then for sure you have chosen the wrong ship.”  “No kidding”,  I said.

 

On the menu for tonight:

Over cooked pasta and you guessed it – risotto del la yesterday.

 

Tonight’s entertainment was dedicated to Michael Jackson.  Jens doesn’t know his music at all and I was never a big fan but of course you just can’t escape Jackson’s songs.  Almost all of us grew up with him whether you like him or not.  The show was good and entertaining.  They had a Michael Jackson impersonator which I must say was very very good.  At the end of the show he jumped off the stage and the light came up and the entire audience was scream like crazy snapping pictures and I really think that for a moment they had forgotten that it was an impersonator – and he wasn’t even white – ha ha.

But now I get it.  Now I understand the draw of the Las Vegas impersonator shows.  It’s almost real and I’m sure it really is real for some.  I’m gonna go see my favorites now.  Barbara, Liza, Dolly,  well…. just as soon as they die that is.

 

Cruise - Day 5 - Palermo

It’s now one week ago that we have come home and it’s already becoming a blur.  One port begins to look like the other.  I can’t really recall what the port in Palermo looked like.  I don’t have any up-close pictures of it.  I only have pictures of approaching the island and far from the port.   Was that the place with the horse and carriages? I asked Jens, “wasn’t that Napoli?”  He couldn’t remember either.  He said, “basically all the ports are the same.”  I agree that they both contain ships and water but I think they differ quite a bit.  Not that it matters, but you see – this is why I am doing this blog so that I can remember as much as possible.  I actually had to go to Google Earth just now to see pix of the port.  I’m still confused if this wasn’t actually the place with the horse and carriages and not in Napoli.  It make more sense now.  Yes, Yes – the horse and carriages were lined up along the harbor and it’s a much prettier place to do a horse and carriage ride. But basically everything in Italy was so discombobulated. And who in his right mind would take a carriage ride through Napoli.  It was mostly alleyways with mopeds.  One thing is for sure however: It was nice to get away from Napoli and very nice in Palermo.  But again the traffic was just nutos.  Millions of cars on just 10 miles of road – something like that.   

Anyway…………

 

We thank god that breakfast can be enjoyed on our own balcony in private with a bit of sun and the view of what looked to be like an interesting island coming our way.

Approaching the jagged terrain of Palermo.

 

What must have been at one time an entrance to the city.

 

Arrival in the port.

Interesting shops.

 Lovely buildings.

–  

A nothing church from the outside with amazing inside.

 

Time for another espresso break.

 Fascinating palazzos

Another amazing church

On one of the websites I read it said you must absolutely try the amazing cannelloni. Its origins are from Palermo, Sicily.  The website said that no matter how delicious you have had one in the states, nothing compares to the cannelloni of Palermo.  Well who ever wrote that web page has never been to Boston.  My nice, Nicole, who lives in Connecticut,  took me and my parents to a joint in Boston but the line to get into the bakery actually went around the block.  We were on a limited time schedule so we didn’t have time to stand in line and wait.  Next-door to the bakery was another café also serving cannelloni.  We walked right in, sat down, ordered and ate.  Eh – no big deal.  As good as an Oreo.  When we left the coffee shop, the line into the bakery next-door had died down a bit and we decided to get in line anyway and give it a try.  One hour later we walked out of the bakery with a box of 6 different flavored cannelloni.  We took them back to the hotel and sucked ‘em up.  They were incredible!  They were out of this world.  We wanted more.  More cannelloni! More cannelloni! More cannelloni!  No wonder people stood in that crazy long line. More cannelloni!   This picture shows 2 Oreo cookies disguised as cannelloni.

5 of the evenings are casual wear – meaning shirt and tie.  But according to friends who have been on cruises – anything goes.  2 of the evenings are formal events.  Gowns and Tuxes are preferred.  Well, I don’t have a tux and they lost my gown at the dry cleaners so shirt and tie it was for most of the evenings.  Just by chance we were at one of the lounges where they were serving free cocktails and champagne on formal night.   Most people were dressed very nicely – not one person in a tux – but what made it so funny was to see 2 guys come down the glass elevator in bathrobes.

 

All you single guys looking for Italian love – it can easily be found on this ship.

Along with the free drinks is free music. Free?

Check out the notepad on the piano.  It really is a “note” pad in the literal sense of the word.

Risotto Risotto Risotto.  I’ve had so much risotto I’m about to gag.  I told Jens that, “If I see just one more risotto dish on the menu card, I am gonna pewk!”   What the hell is risotto anyway?!!  Risotto Risotto….. hummmm  Risotto…… Sounds an awful lot like the Danish word “rester”  (pronounced more like rawstah)  Food in Danish is “mad” (pronounced more like math)  “Madrester” or literally “rest-food” or “the rest of the food” translates to English as “left-overs” From my years of learning Danish and meeting people from other countries and listening and talking about funny language tongue-twisters, you begin to learn that languages “borrow” from other languages and words in your language most likely have its origins from another neighboring language.  And most likely all of it originated from Babylon.  Risotto – Rester – the rest of – left overs.  Do you see what I am getting at.   Last night on the ship we had zucchini and eggplant.  Tonight we have Risotto di zucchini and eggplant.  One evening we ate championne alla Gorgonzola.  The next evening it was Risotto championne alla Gorgonzola.  One evening it was Jumbo Shrimp.  The only thing jumbo about these shrimp was the antenna-tentacles that stretched out from one end of the plate to the other.  By the time you peeled the shell from the part you want to eat, it was mini shrimp.  The next night its Risotto di Jumbo shrimp surpris-si.   If you can find the shrimp, you yell out - SURPRIS-SI !!

Anything you served yesterday and still hashing it out a day or two later is Risotto.  Ok but the portions were always small and they did have – surprise surprise – Risotto di Leemona.  “Risotto di Leemona?”  “Hey Jens did we have anything with lemons yesterday? I asked him.  “No, but we did see a lot of kids at the pool drinking pink lemon-aide”   So I tested my limits and asked for the Risotto di Leemona knowing that if I didn’t like it, I didn’t have to eat it.  My eyes were huge with surprise as they brought out a large plate of the mush with these weird yellow lemon-peal thingies sticking out of it. – Gag!

I was telling Dan’s friend about this story and then went onto tell about the time there was fresh hand-made pasta on the menu.  Sounds delicious but I’m thinking – wait, if tonight it’s fresh pasta – what about all the other dinners?  Right – risotto del la pasta.  The fresh pasta was just like the pasta of all the other evenings – 10 minutes over cooked and then rinsed.  In all the other places I have been to in Italy, the pasta dishes are always al-dante.  Al-dante means - don’t eat too much cuz its gonna expand like crazy in your stomach. So Dan’s friend cuts me off and asks, “You do know that the Indonesian guy who makes up your cabin and cleans your toilet is also the same guy in the kitchen trying to make Italian food?”

And when he said that, all I could think of was Risotto della poo poo.  That one question put it all in perspective.  Suddenly it all made sense.

These children have been trying to get my attention several evenings in a row now.  One evening one of the little girls brought her ship provided entertainment coloring-book in 5 languages to dinner.  She walked up to me and had a page open with a French Flag, pointing at it.  She was asking me if I spoke French.  I said “No, here! Let me!”  Took the book from her hand and flipped back and forth, pretending to look for a Chinese flag, “Chino? Chino? Where’s the Chino!!? OOooooh – no Chino -  but I speak Chinese.”  She grabbed the book from my hand and ran back to her mother.

They were being very pornographic the entire evening and the mother is encouraging them and asking me to “Please-ah, you take-a da foto offa me bambini – no?”

“No!”

Layees en Gemmen!  Goo evennina. Tonighta we havea da specttacolo show justa ford-a youa Layees en Gennem.  Layees en Gemmen, pa-leeza – sitta backa anna relaxa Layees en Gemmen anna givea bigga applouso Layees en Gemmen to da specttacolo singerrrrrs annnnnnn dancers Layees en Gemmennnnnnn!